History on Fire

2019-04-16 History on Fire

I have never been to Paris, but it is on my bucket list, along with so many other cities around the world.  I have family vacation destinations planned for our family every summer from now until 2029 (anyone who knows me personally will laugh and say “of course”) and the trips when my kids are high school and college-aged include Europe. Continue reading

Don’t Let the Moment Slip Away

2019-04-10 Don't Let the Moment Slip Away

I have had some people come into my life recently that don’t know that I lost two babies.  I interact with them a lot, and for months I have wondered when it will come up.  I wasn’t avoiding the topic, but it isn’t something that necessarily arises in casual conversation either.  Yet I knew – when the moment presented itself, I would say something. Continue reading

Reliving a Moment

2019-04-02 Reliving a Moment

The other night, Ger and I were lounging around after watching a not-so-good movie.  It ended with a predictable “boy and girl get back together and decide to get married” moment.  We both thought it would have been much more interesting if the girl had walked away from the relationship, but that likely doesn’t make for a satisfying ending for viewers.  Much better that hearts not be broken, and everything is tied up with a bow and a large engagement ring, right? Continue reading

Planning for the Future

2019-03-28 Planning for the Future

Several years ago, Ger and I sat down and did some planning for the future.  Separately, we wrote out our various short- and long-term goals and then compared our lists.  I don’t have a hard copy of what I wrote down, but I am fairly certain that one of my goals for our family was “have another baby.” Continue reading

Learning Not to Turn Away

learning not to turn away

Turn turn away
From the weight of your own past
It’s magic for the devil
And betray the lack of change
Once you have spoken
Turn away
-Beck

It has become an almost automatic reaction.  See a pregnancy announcement – usually accompanied by photos – flinch, hide the announcement.  If the parents-to-be start to inundate my feed with cutesy photos, or complaints about the discomforts of pregnancy, then I am done.  I remove it from my sight until I am sure the baby is born.  I’ll provide the requisite “Congratulations” and then whether I bring that baby back into my feed depends on whether or not there are any other triggers. Continue reading