Finding the Non-Routine Things

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We have been at marriage therapy for about a year, now only going to appointments once a month as a check-in.  Now heading toward four years since Nelle died, and nearly two years since our rainbow baby was born, it feels like we have worked through the heavy stuff and are just “fine tuning the top” as our therapist likes to say. Continue reading

The Lie

2019-06-25 The Lie

I could not handle the day.  I had no energy.  It was one of those days where I simultaneously  expect the world to be accommodating, and know that they will not understand.  Too many weights on my shoulders about the future, and too many triggers this week about the past. Continue reading

Recognizing That Reaction

2019-06-11 Recognizing that Reaction

About a month ago, I went through a very intense experience involving mental health.  Without going into details, I had to make some decisions, in the middle of the night, that I knew were going to have a lasting impact on the people involved.  I feared for my personal safety, and the safety of the people around me. Continue reading

Remembering the “Things”

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As Autumn grows older, I have had no trouble getting rid of certain things.  Clothes were quickly passed on or donated, saving only a few favorites in her “special box” like her first onesie or a knit hat.  We said goodbye to the baby food maker and moved her from a crib to a toddler bed this past weekend. Continue reading

Stuck in the Space

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When I was pregnant with Nelle, we started talking to a contractor about putting an addition on our house.  We knew what the additional space would look like, how much it would cost, and had a contract in hand.  I was going back and forth with the contractor on some of the particulars of the agreement when Nelle died. Continue reading