And Now Two

2019-08-21 And Now Three

I didn’t write on the day that my rainbow baby turned two years old earlier this month.  There was a party, and then her actual birthday, and then we left for vacation a few days later.  I didn’t take the time out of the busy days to reflect on her the way that I should have. Continue reading

A Vacation in the Books

 

 

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I have had in my mind for years that we would take family vacations.  Growing up, my family always took road trip or big vacations in the summer.  I wanted to do the same with my kids, plotting out how we could visit all corners of the country, with focus on their ages at the time and what I thought we could handle. Continue reading

Telling a Short Story

2019-07-31 Telling a Short Story

Waterfall Glen Forest Preserve

Last week, I was picking my kids up from summer camp.  The day was blistering hot, so I was wearing shorts and flip flops.  The kids are always outside when I arrive and so I walk up to the teacher and he yells out to the kids running around on a large soccer field to come over and get their backpacks.  He usually says something to me in the minute or so that it takes for my kids to appear at my side; most of the time, something about what they did that day. Continue reading

Finding the Non-Routine Things

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We have been at marriage therapy for about a year, now only going to appointments once a month as a check-in.  Now heading toward four years since Nelle died, and nearly two years since our rainbow baby was born, it feels like we have worked through the heavy stuff and are just “fine tuning the top” as our therapist likes to say. Continue reading

The Lie

2019-06-25 The Lie

I could not handle the day.  I had no energy.  It was one of those days where I simultaneously  expect the world to be accommodating, and know that they will not understand.  Too many weights on my shoulders about the future, and too many triggers this week about the past. Continue reading