Song

In 2012, my sister was diagnosed with breast cancer.  It was one of those “I have no idea what to say” moments.  So I sent her a song, “This Woman’s Work” by Maxwell.  I thought it had all of the words that I could not say.

Today, that song happened to pop up on my playlist and as I listened to the lyrics, I started crying.  In my car, crying and crying, I couldn’t stop.

I know you’ve got a little life in you left
I know you’ve got a lot of strength left
I should be cryihng, but I just can’t let it go.
I should be hoping, but I can’t stop thinking
…Oh, darling, make it go
Make it go away.

On the day I lost Iris, a dear friend sent me a song.  She told me not to be strong right then because she, and others, would be strong for me.  After several pregnancy losses of her own, she and I were pregnant together.  She had her baby, not the same day that Iris was due.  The song she sent me was “He Ain’t Heavy, He’s My Brother” by The Hollies

The road is long, with many a winding turn
That leads us to who knows where, who knows where
But I’m strong, strong enough to carry him
He aint’ heavy, he’s my brother

I arrived at Quentin’s school, wiping away tears as I thought of both of these songs, and another entered my head.  So often, songs have exactly the right words.

So take a good look at my face
You’ll see my smile looks out of place
If you look closer, it’s easy to trace
The tracks of my tears.