I have been writing since I could hold a pencil, as evidenced by a poorly-spelled and woefully illustrated book from my early childhood called “Cuddles the Cat.” Writing was always something I did in the background of other events of my life: college, work, marriage, parenthood.
Writing took a front seat after back-to-back pregnancy losses that you can read about here. I had never before like I had a story to tell, and suddenly I was compelled to share more than ever. What I have found about the grief community is that everyone’s journey is intensely personal. We scour the landscape, looking for something that resonates. Some stories will. Some stories won’t. But I am providing this story, in hopes of connecting with someone. If that person is you, I am glad that you are here, reading. Know that someone else is screaming, sobbing, walking, twisting, turning, breathing, and moving with you.
Outside of writing about how grief continues to impact my everyday life, I work for a small software company. My husband, Ger, and I have been married since 2006. In an almost fated set of circumstances, I went to school to be an English major and he went to school to be a computer programmer: yet we ended up working in the same field. Not only that, but we also work for the same employer. Not only that, but we work from home, so we have learned to be quite adaptable to intersecting both our family and our work lives.
We moved a lot in the early years of our marriage, starting in La Crosse, Wisconsin, migrating to Madison, and then to Aurora, IL; with many homes in between. We love the area that we live in now, with its access to the thrills of big-city Chicago, but small-town Wisconsin will always have my heart.
Our first son, Theodore, was born in September of 2009 and our second son, Quentin, was born in March of 2012. This was followed by our daughter, Nelle, who was stillborn at 21 weeks of pregnancy in September of 2015, and our daughter, Iris, who was lost at 16 weeks of pregnancy in February of 2016. My Rainbow Baby – a baby born after loss – my daughter, Autumn, was born in August of 2017. All of my children I hold dear.
I write mostly for myself, as a way to honor my daughters, but I hope that you can take what you need and pass it along.