Fifth Child Thoughts and Moments

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After starting physical therapy a few weeks ago, Autumn switched from afternoon appointments to morning appointments.  Arriving for an afternoon appointment after a long day at day care meant that she was often exhausted, crabby.  Morning seemed to be a much better fit for her rhythm.  But it meant that she would begin seeing a different therapist. Continue reading

Reflecting on Time and Energy

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At the end of every year, I reflect and look forward to what lies ahead.  I am one of those people who tends to set goals for myself, usually small and incremental.  Or at least that used to be the case before Nelle died and I spent Christmas of 2015 and 2016 with only one thought: for a healthy pregnancy.  The months following Christmas of 2015 brought only more heartache in losing Iris, and while the months following Christmas of 2016 ushered in nearly unmanageable anxiety, at the end of that pregnancy I brought my rainbow baby home. Continue reading

A Parent’s Loving Decision

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We often say in my grief support group that as parents, we make decisions every day on behalf of our children.

Starting with some of the earliest decisions around breastfeeding versus bottle-feeding, to consequences for the stubborn toddler, to how much screen time to allow, to how to pay for college – these decisions are daily, sometimes small, and sometimes life-changing.  All are made because the parents are doing what they believe is best. Continue reading