Say Her Name


“Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”  -Terry Pritchett

For Nelle’s birthday in September this year, I made a donation to the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation.  For parents that want it, the gift of remembrance photography is a beautiful one.  Even though we chose not to do photos with Nelle or Iris, I think that the mission of NILMDTS is an important one.  Many of the parents I have come to know treasure the photos of their babies, as much as I treasure the footprints I have of my girls.  It seemed like the perfect gift in honor of her. Continue reading

The Day After


At 7:00 pm last night, we lit our candles.  Well, close to 7:00 anyway.  I was ready, but Quentin was still climbing out of the bathtub and shaking himself dry.  It made the mood more lighthearted.  I asked Ger if he had a song and he immediately said “Candle in the Wind” (1997 version). The lyrics weren’t exactly right for our losses, but seemed somehow fitting anyway. Continue reading

The Dash


For my friend’s son, Lucas: September 8, 2016 – September 9, 2016.

When we die, our tombstone will have the date of our birth and the date of our death. And in between those two dates is a simple dash. This small punctuation mark represents our entire life.

This week has been a series of reminders. There was the memory of the moment when I was told by the doctor that Nelle was gone. There was the memory of her birth. Today, Autumn turned one month old, a spot of joy. Milestones of both birth and loss. And there was a reminder that people grieve differently. Continue reading