Say Her Name

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“Do you not know that a man is not dead while his name is still spoken?”  -Terry Pritchett

For Nelle’s birthday in September this year, I made a donation to the Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep Foundation.  For parents that want it, the gift of remembrance photography is a beautiful one.  Even though we chose not to do photos with Nelle or Iris, I think that the mission of NILMDTS is an important one.  Many of the parents I have come to know treasure the photos of their babies, as much as I treasure the footprints I have of my girls.  It seemed like the perfect gift in honor of her. Continue reading

The Day After

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At 7:00 pm last night, we lit our candles.  Well, close to 7:00 anyway.  I was ready, but Quentin was still climbing out of the bathtub and shaking himself dry.  It made the mood more lighthearted.  I asked Ger if he had a song and he immediately said “Candle in the Wind” (1997 version). The lyrics weren’t exactly right for our losses, but seemed somehow fitting anyway. Continue reading

The Dash

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For my friend’s son, Lucas: September 8, 2016 – September 9, 2016.

When we die, our tombstone will have the date of our birth and the date of our death. And in between those two dates is a simple dash. This small punctuation mark represents our entire life.

This week has been a series of reminders. There was the memory of the moment when I was told by the doctor that Nelle was gone. There was the memory of her birth. Today, Autumn turned one month old, a spot of joy. Milestones of both birth and loss. And there was a reminder that people grieve differently. Continue reading