I managed to escape the house and go to yoga on Sunday. A full 90 minutes in 105 degree heat.
It was a busy morning at the studio. Often overcast days mean yogis run inside to the hot room. A woman had her mat very close to mine: someone I recognized as an experienced practitioner. Continue reading
The only event on my calendar yesterday was a Luminary ceremony hosted by the loss support group of which I am a member. My nanny’s exclamation of “Cinco de Mayo!” and various photos I saw of the Kentucky Derby reminded me that many people had very different celebrations yesterday. Whereas for my circle, we gathered to light up the Angel Garden at the hospital and say our babies’ names out loud, in recognition of International Bereaved Mother’s Day. Continue reading
A month after losing Nelle, we scattered her ashes to the coulee where I grew up. I was still in a dense fog of grief. It was Ger’s suggestion to bring her to the tree where my grandfather’s ashes had been scattered in 2011. The Sheltering Oak is nestled back on my aunt and uncle’s land and on that day in early October 2015, Ger and I walked back there alone. It was crisp, Fall day with a bright, cold sun. Leaves were making their descent from the branches to the ground. We sat in silence for a long time. Just sat. I couldn’t bring myself to leave the tree, and leave her there. Continue reading
After having my first tattoo done, I almost immediately began to plan the next alteration of my skin. There was something remarkably satisfying about the process: first the pain, then the memory – burned into flesh as a permanent tribute to my children. The dates on my back were for them. The next one would be for me. Continue reading
Theo has been sick for several days and spent quite a bit of time in the master bedroom, watching tv. Everything was fairly low key with his illness, until he said the words “Mommy, I barfed.” He held his arms away from his body, indicating his now-soiled clothes. And I needed to strip the bed. Continue reading