Four years. 1,461 days. My baby girl, my first daughter, my Nelle Claudia Dej was born. She was given a name we had already picked out. When we brought home her ashes, it was to a nursery that we had already started to furnish. Continue reading
Release. What I Need.
Telling a Short Story
Waterfall Glen Forest Preserve
Last week, I was picking my kids up from summer camp. The day was blistering hot, so I was wearing shorts and flip flops. The kids are always outside when I arrive and so I walk up to the teacher and he yells out to the kids running around on a large soccer field to come over and get their backpacks. He usually says something to me in the minute or so that it takes for my kids to appear at my side; most of the time, something about what they did that day. Continue reading
Finding the Non-Routine Things
We have been at marriage therapy for about a year, now only going to appointments once a month as a check-in. Now heading toward four years since Nelle died, and nearly two years since our rainbow baby was born, it feels like we have worked through the heavy stuff and are just “fine tuning the top” as our therapist likes to say. Continue reading
Sometimes a Bit Lucky
These past few weeks, we have felt very unlucky. Ger had a nasty bout of pneumonia that put him out of commission for about 8 days, leaving me struggling to juggle work and the kids. Then a week ago, with finally everyone healthy, we were driving to Noodles and Company for dinner, only to have our minivan die on the side of the road. Continue reading
Reclaiming the Morning
My husband and I have a long-standing arrangement on weekends. On Saturday morning, he sleeps in and I wrangle all of the kids. Up with Autumn around 6:00, breakfast for the older kids when they wander into the kitchen around 6:45… usually pancakes or waffles. By 8:00, I have left the house with Autumn in tow to go run errands for the week. The big kids have their morning screen time and Ger keeps sleeping. All of this lasts until about 9:30 when I return home from shopping, screen time is over, everyone is awake and the weekend day commences. Continue reading
