Enter Holidays

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The day was gray. Chilly. I was running errands in the afternoon and met with a mass of unexpected holiday shoppers, so it took longer than usual and I was tired. Then I drove by the hospital. A few minutes later, the lyrics “May you have a strong foundation when the winds of changes shift” (Bob Dylan) came floating through the speakers. Between the air, the place, and the music, I began to cry. Continue reading

Around the Table

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I took me over a year to attend my first SHARE meeting.  It was hard.  The passage of months hadn’t lessened my pain.  Speaking around a table of parents who had experienced loss did not bring me comfort.  Instead, I felt the weight of their stories and sadness.  The next day, I saw my therapist and it was her gentle suggestion that maybe the group was “too much” for me at that time.  I was carrying my own problems; how could I carry theirs too? Continue reading

A Normal Visit

2017-11-13 A Normal Visit

I had my annual female exam today.  First time I have been in my OB/GYN office in over two-and-a-half years for a non-pregnancy related visit.  My first visit when I was pregnant with Nelle would have been around May of 2015, when I was about 8 weeks pregnant.  The exact date is not important to anyone but me.  It was a bit surreal, to walk into that building and know that there would be no discussion of medications, or risk factors, or how many weeks along I was. Continue reading