When Mothers Are Hurting

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Yesterday, someone I know asked for advice on Facebook.  Her friend, 4.5 months pregnant, was told that her son would not likely make it to term due to a heart defect.  She wanted to help, but didn’t know how.  A friend brought it to my attention, thinking  I could offer some words, knowing that kind of heartbreak. Continue reading

When Birthdays are Reminders

Nelle was stillborn on September 4th.  A mere 16 days later was Theo’s sixth birthday.

It is a painful contradiction to find your own child’s baby photos difficult to look at, but I spent that year quickly looking away from images of his tiny newborn cheeks, fingers, and toes.  All I could see in those pictures of the first few days of my son’s life were the reminders that I would never have any pictures of Nelle.  That overjoyed look on my face in those photos – the induction into motherhood – seemed like a completely parallel and disparate experience from where I sat after my baby girl had died. Continue reading

Tell Your Story

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Let me tell you what I wish I’d known
When I was young and dreamed of glory
You have no control:
Who lives, who dies, who tells your story?
-From ‘Hamilton’

For the third time, I appeared before a group of hospital staff to tell my story of being a patient in Labor and Delivery who would not be taking my baby home. Continue reading