I had to drive to Madison today, to inspect the condo we still own after the tenants moved out two days ago. I also meeting a painter there to discuss repairs and necessary repainting. We did “divide and conquer” so I only had Quentin…
The first day of spring. I remember hating the changing of the seasons last year after losing Iris. Love and hate. I hated the newness around me, but was grateful at being forced out of the darkness of winter.
And so. My intuition was wrong. Whether or not that will help me in the future, I do not know. Can I convince myself the next time I have “a feeling” that my fears are irrational?
If I do make it further, I only imagine it will be worse as I’ll be expected to monitor the movements carefully. And irregularity will likely send me into a tailspin or have me running to the hospital.
As I drove, I found myself shaky and eyes watering. I couldn’t breathe, but forced myself to keep driving.