My very first 5k was in October of 2012. I barely prepped for it, but ran with a friend who kindly ran at my pace. The following year, I tried really hard to become a runner, participating in ten different races and training in between. One year later, in October of 2013, I ran the same race as my first, this time pushing a jogging stroller, and impressed with myself that I finished with a decent time and the added challenge. A testament to my hard work. Continue reading
The past few months, I have been unapologetically focused on myself. I have spent the better part of the time since September in various states of sadness, anxiety, and anger. This was compounded by the state of stagnation that I find myself in. The remedy for that seems to be self-care. It likely started with yoga: making time for a 90-minute class 3-4x per week. Recognizing that taking care of myself was a necessary component of being a functional human being both at home and work. This evolved into taking better care of myself in other ways. My daily routine has become a ritual of carefully considered improvements. Continue reading
Pursue the authentic-decide first
what is authentic,
then go after it with all your heart.
Your heart, that place
you don’t even think of cleaning out.
-from ‘Advice to Myself’ by Louise Erdrich
My month-long self-imposed spending hiatus has not been going well. Instead of buying for myself, I started buying for the house. Little things that had bothered me for a long time suddenly seemed intolerable. I cleaned out Ger’s entire closet and rid him of decade-old shirts and pants, and then went to the outlet mall to outfit him with a new wardrobe – something we had been discussing in passing for year, but never got around to. I had an appliance repair man come out and fix the burner on our stove that has not been working for over a year. I turned an old sandbox in the backyard into a garden bed. Continue reading
I went for a walk today. Third day in a row where I’ve managed a 30 minute walk. At the advice of a friend, I started seeing a therapist to help me deal with my grief – I saw her last week, and again today. She told me that on my walks, to look around as a child looks around when outside – noticing things that are weird, or out of place, or beautiful. Continue reading