Writing through my grief has given me strength. Sharing what I have written has made me brave.
Nothing presented was fresh or new for me. I have heard the messages of feeling changed, of “before” and “after”, of trying to find joy. The only new aspect of the experience was hearing new stories from other parents.
I left slowly when the two hours had passed. So much grief and sadness in the room, but we are all members of that tribe. I spoke to a few people on the way out.
It is so easy to pass judgment when you don’t see a face, when you don’t know the story, and you don’t know the anguish. I am putting myself out there as a face of someone who was staring directly at that decision.
Do not let anyone tell you a timetable, how, or what to feel. Grief comes in waves and I still find myself thrown by triggers, even a year after the first loss.