Last week, I was picking my kids up from summer camp. The day was blistering hot, so I was wearing shorts and flip flops. The kids are always outside when I arrive and so I walk up to the teacher and he yells out to the kids running around on a large soccer field to come over and get their backpacks. He usually says something to me in the minute or so that it takes for my kids to appear at my side; most of the time, something about what they did that day. Continue reading
Writing through my grief has given me strength. Sharing what I have written has made me brave.
In a very early therapy session, I remember crying because people had stopped talking to me about my loss. They had moved on. I felt so alone, and forgotten. I told my therapist “They are reading what I write – I can tell, by the number of page views. But no one is saying anything.” It took time for me to understand that “reading” was “listening.” It was giving me a space to say what I needed to say. Response not required, because people kept returning to read more. They were bearing witness to my pain. Continue reading
Yesterday, I attended a workshop for bereaved parents. I knew that it would be hard. I knew that anticipation would likely make it difficult to even walk into the building, and that after I would likely feel like I had been hit by a bus. But I forced myself to go because I belong to the community of bereaved parents. This is my tribe. Continue reading
I went to my first SHARE meeting tonight. 406 days after losing Nelle. 255 days after losing Iris. Those numbers seem so huge, and yet represent such a small amount of time. Continue reading
Stand. You’ve been sitting much too long. -Sly and the Family Stone
On a national stage, it was said last night: “I have met with women who have, toward the end of their pregnancy, got the worst news one can get. That their health is in jeopardy if they continue to carry to term. Or that something terrible has happened or just been discovered about the pregnancy. I do not think the United States government should be stepping in and making those most personal of decisions. Continue reading